Whilst swigging at a horrible energy drink that tasted of stale Orangina, I was originally waiting for Letha Bizzle but one of the lovely promoters from Scream Promotions asked me to interview his favourite band, The Living End who had come all the way from down under. I peered over and saw the three of them sitting on the sofa, looking pretty stylish - and they sounded so polite - how could I refuse?
Altsounds: So if I were to go to Melbourne where would I go to rock out?
Andy: Oh, there’s so many great venues…
Scott: Chris' house.
Altsounds: Oh, am I invited?
Scott: Big time sister, big time.
Andy: Yep yep.
Altsounds: So I just look you up in the Yellow pages yeah?
Chris: Yeah I’m in the book.
Scott: We got lots of great pubs, it's still a really great place for live music now. A hell of a lot of places have closed down. Maybe that’s universal the world over? But particularly in Australia. Also you can go, in Melbourne, to The Corner Hotel, the Espanade Hotel, The Prince of Wales, The Evelny, there are lots of little ones too.
Chris: Yeah you can still have a real good night. Melbourne’s a pretty hip and happening city.
Andy: There’s a place called The Toff in town as well, that’s only really small but that’s great.
Chris: Don’t be fooled by Sydney either, Sydney may be the capital of Australia but Melbourne’s got a really cool art and music scene and it’s a happening town.
Altsounds: Could you tell me your favourite joke?
Andy: Mine are all dirty and horrible.
Altsounds: Do it, do it!
Andy: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand?
Altsounds: I Don’t know…
Andy: A brunette with bad breath.
Altsounds: Ha ha.
Andy: Its bad I know, it’s terrible.
Altsounds: How about you, do you know one?
Chris: Instantly some terrible embarrassing jokes have come to mind. Not embarrassing cos they’re dirty, just embarrassing cos they’re so bad.
Altsounds: If it makes you feel better my favourite joke for 5 years was, a man walks into a bar...ouch.
Scott: Yeah that’s terrible.
Chris: A Horse walks into a bar and the bar owner says, why the long face?
Scott: That’s just shit.
Andy: There was a young fellow from Leeds, who swallowed a packet of seeds. Soon enough grass sprang out of his arse and his balls were covered in weeds. Do you like that? Cos it relative to where we are.
Altsounds: Yes yes, very good.
Scott: Why did the whale cross the road?
Altsounds: I don’t know…
Scott: To get to the other tide
Altsounds: Oh....
Andy: Ha ha ha ha!
Altsounds: That’s a big disappointment, no offence.
Scott: Wasn’t it meant to be tell us your worst joke?
Andy: No no, your favourite!
Scott: Ohhhh! No. No that is my favourite as well.
Altsounds: I really like your ring, [Spider on a web] is it a wedding ring?
Scott: Oh, that depends if you’re still staying over or not.
Altsounds: Ha ha ha!
Scott: Yes yes, it is. I actually don’t like spiders, so I’m confronting my fears.
Altsounds: I like it. 
Altsounds: Do you guys all drink?
Andy: It is sacrilege to give an Australian a non-alcoholic beer. [they then arranged for me to have two beers, one for later, of course].
Altsounds: Ok so what’s your recommended hangover cure?
Scott: Barroca.
Altsounds: Ah, Fizzy Mc-feel good.
Scott: Yeah yeah.
Andy: Mines hideously elaborate and takes days, I get pretty bad hangovers.
Altsounds: I don’t really get them.
Andy: Don’t you? Happy times!
Altsounds: Well, I got one about a month ago and I nearly cried.
Andy: You will, one day you will.
Altsounds: What is your best festival tip for all the kids here today?
Scott: Well you’ll definitely need a festival program to know what bands are on what stage.
Andy: That is so sensible.
Scott: If you’re out in the field and you’re just asking people it might get difficult.
Altsounds: It’s ten pounds to get one you know.
Scott: Yeah I heard that.
Altsounds: Maybe be smart enough to go online before hand and print them out…
Scott: Yeah yeah, do that and probably just get wellies.
Andy: I would say, from looking out there a poncho or an umbrella or some sort of rain shooing device.
Chris: I would also say, without wanting to sound like a preacher man, go see a band that you’ve never heard of before, at least one per day. You never know what you might find, that’s what I love about festivals, I love stumbling across something and it’s great and you go home and buy the CD and all of a sudden you’re a fan. You have seriously got your money’s worth out of the festival when that happens.
Altsounds: I think that’s the best festival tip I’ve had. Do you guys have a favourite between Reading or Leeds?
Chris: I dunno, Reeds, Leading.
Andy: I dunno, I don’t have a preference.
Scott: Today was pretty good, so we’ll just have to see what happens tomorrow.
Altsounds: So do you guys know anything about Altsounds?
Andy: No, oh he does.
Scott: Yeah I do.
Altsounds: Well basically it’s an independent online music magazine and we now have more readers than Kerrang, so what type of message would you like to give to our readers who maybe haven’t heard of you before or that have but they want to hear something from you that they haven’t heard from you in a previous interview.
Andy: I reckon that the websites and the interview stuff nowadays is such an easy thing to do. It's going to take you 5 minutes to have a look, I’m sure you’ll be very excited.
Scott: Nah I mean, good on you guys for just getting behind acts, you’re trying to get the music and bands out there, so I’d just say keep your ears open and keep trying to discover new music. That’s what it’s all about, just support these bands to enable them to play, which then produces more bands. It’s a kind of living thing isn’t it, it needs to be fed.
Chris: I would say that websites and magazines and stuff that have corporate sponsorship and advertising and all that sort of stuff have an agenda and obviously they have to fit that but people like you don’t have an agenda. You’re trying to promote music that you truly believe in so surely that’s going to be a much more viable source of music that will be genuine and good so if people would only realise that the world, in my mind would be a much better place.
Altsounds: So when you guys go home will you look up Altsounds then?
Andy: Yes.
Scott: Yeah we got internet on the bus.
Andy: Only cos we are ‘on’ it.
Scott: Ha ha ha
Altsounds: If I were a princess locked in a tower how would you all save me?
Scott: Well I’d get a key from reception I suppose and press the lift button.
Andy: What would I do? I’d probably just call the fire department cos they’ve got those big ladders and say 'can I borrow your ladder for a minute mate', and they would say, 'yeah no problem' and I’d just climb up and say 'hey you want to come down'?
Scott: How you doin?
Andy: Yeah, how you doing? Or maybe we could just stay up there, maybe I could just say 'OK boys thanks for the ladder' and we’d have breakfast, champagne …
Altsounds: You’re bringing the champagne yeah?
Andy: Absolutely! Chilled, strawberries dipped in chocolate, and we’d just hang out for the day.
Altsounds: Sounds amazing. How about you?
Chris: Sorry I’m so far in Andy’s fantasy that I’ve ended up with no ideas. What if I turned up as a giant green slimy frog and kissed you, would that work? You know the Cinderella story? Sorry I’m getting mixed up. I’d probably bring all my fairytale books and end up getting confused and fall asleep at the tower. Sorry princess, sorry!
And that was that. The Living End and I parted ways for each of us to continue our day at Leeds. The Living End’s ‘White Noise’ is out now, and they are touring all over the place between 26th Sept and 2nd Dec.
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The Lowdown - Andy, Scott and Chris of The Living End
Re: Altsounds.com Q&A Interview - Andy, Scott and Chris of The Living End
