I waited around for a good couple of hours, until Fake Problems arrived. Apologising, more than fashionably late, and a little drunk. They were pretty funny and sweet though, so it wasn’t all bad.

Altsounds: OK so Fake Problems are…
Sean: Sean.
Casey Lee: Casey Lee.
Derrick: And I'm Derrick Perry. Are you just Sean? I know like a million Sean’s. Did you know Sean is the most popular name from 1972 through to 1997?

Altsounds: Is that a proven fact?
Casey Lee: I think that’s a lie.
Derrick: Its a true worldwide fact.
Casey Lee: World lie.

Altsounds: So who have you seen at Reading or Leeds or who would you like to see?
Derrick: Saw Manchester Orchestra…
Casey Lee: They were terrific.
Sean: We hung out with Anti-Flag and The Bouncing Souls, The Flatliners are here...
Casey Lee: Yeh they were good.

Altsounds: If you were on death row what would be your last meal?
Sean: Cuban chicken with yellow rice and peas, its so good, my mom makes it. Only if my mom made it.
Casey Lee: Florida lobster.
Derrick: Well, like and unlike Casey I would like surf n turf but Maine lobster.
Casey Lee: Maine lobster???
Derrick: Instead of Florida lobster.
Casey Lee: Sell out.
Derrickk: Maine is the greatest, it’s big and red and giant, while the Florida Lobster is this weak little cockroach in pink.

Altsounds: You got a comment on that?
Casey Lee: Yeah, we are gonna kick him outta the state that’s what I say.
Derrick: I mean the Maine lovster is black and it boils this deep red, its beautiful.
Casey Lee: It makes me sick to hear him say that.
Derrick: The claws are the size of hands.

Altsounds: Ok so where are you all from? Lets see what the internet has to say…
Casey Lee: Yeah, let’s see what the internet has to say about us.

Altsounds: Ok, Indie rock from Naples Florida?
All: Yeah we are from Naples.

Altsounds: So if I were to go to Naples, where would I go to rock out?
Casey Lee: Derrick’s house.
Derrick: Yeah my house, its called the Perry house. Frank Turner has played at my house, Paul Barbour has played at my house, Tom Gable and Jordan Freeman just frequent by there every now and then.

Altsounds: So if I couldn’t go to your house where would I go?
Derrick: Why else would you go to Naples?
All: Ha ha ha
Derrick: Just keep going to Miami or Tampa.

Altsounds: So you guys are all drinking, have you got a recommended hangover cure?
Casey Lee: More booze!
Sean: A Big Mac.
Casey Lee: If your really poisoned, there is nothing you can do beside sleep and smoke weed.
All: Weed, weed, weed is the best thing.
Derek: Fast food, pain killers, coffee.
Casey Lee: Weed, beer and gas station hot dogs.

Altsounds: Have you guys got a crazy story that’s happened to your band lately?
Casey Lee: Sean threw up on the plane, four times on the way here.
Sean: Almost had a chance to get into the mile high club.
Casey Lee: But then he started throwing up everywhere.
Derrick: Sean went to the bathroom and this beautiful young woman followed him there and he was just throwing up and she said 'uhh gross face.' Who knows what would’ve happened if they had gone in the stall together?
Sean: Nah man I mean nothing was happening we were just hanging out.
All: Ha ha ha!!
Sean: It was just chance!
Derrick: Everyone’s dream.

Altsounds: [To Casey Lee] So what does that mean? [on the wrist band] WWHD?
Casey Lee: What would Hondo do?

Altsounds: Nice!
Casey Lee: John Wayne

Altsounds: Do you have a message for our readers who maybe haven’t heard of you before or want to hear something new?
Derrickk: Live long and prosper.
Casey Lee: Legalise marijuana.
Sean: I second that.

Altsounds: Now if I were a princess stuck in a tower how would you save me?
Derrick: I would tell you to grow your hair long so I could climb up it.

Altsounds: That would take years.
Casey Lee: I'd call the cops and be like 'someone’s holding this girl hostage. We need some help!'
Sean: Seems logical but its terrible. You’d have to get SWAT or something.
Casey Lee: Yeah I cant do anything!
Sean: You’re supposed to come in with a horse or on a dragon.
Casey Lee: Oh yeah, I’d go to the police station on a horse.
Sean: No, you get the horse FROM the police station.
Casey Lee: A ladder climbing horse.
Sean: Yeah.
Casey Lee: There’s only a few ladder climbing horses in our country, I don’t know how many you guys have.

Altsounds: Oh we have quite a lot actually.
Casey Lee: Well, just go down the street to the horse store, grab one of those, go get a giant ladder and you’re out of there.

Altsounds: So what’s your favourite joke?
Sean: Casey’s side project is to write jokes for comedians

Altsounds: You’re gonna have to beat **** Billy Talent's joke he made up earlier.
Casey Lee: Ok, so how did the writer kill himself? He dropped 20 stories on to the concrete.
Sean: Do the triangle one…
Casey Lee: Ok, What do you call an angel with 3 legs? A tri-angel

Altsounds: That one was bad.
Sean: That’s my favourite.
Casey Lee: Baby seal walks into a club...

Altsounds: ...oh god that s awful!
Casey Lee: [rolls on floor laughing] Ha ha ha!

Altsounds: Ok so do you have a parting message for....Hey you! What’re you doing, you can’t go on your phone in an interview!
Derrick: Oh I’m sorry.
Casey Lee: That’s fucked up.

Altsounds: First you’re late, now you’re on your phone! In fact, I think you should read it out…
Derrick: Ok, it says "Where are you dudes, my phone battery is nearly dead so we should meet up soon." That’s from a guy called Rich Murphy from Hall or Nothing and we’re going to go back to his place in Birmingham to stay at his sweet pad. It’s imperative that I locate him.
Casey Lee: He’s addicted to it [the phone]
Sean: The whole fest has Wi-Fi so it’s a really big deal.

Altsounds: Ok, well I think were done now any way.
Derrick: No, no, we should go out with a bang.
[Much dithering]
Derrickk: Ok errr...
All: errrrr BAAAAAANG!