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Yes, it’s true that the majority of Eurovision Song Contest songs are pretty awful. The cheesy and often awkward live performances are better to watch for their comic value rather than because they're easy on the ear. In recent years a lot of countries have accepted their fate and entered joke songs, knowing that it’s not about how you sing but who your neighbours are. The problem is, what one country finds hilarious, other countries just don't understand.
This week has seen the semi finals of Eurovision 2012, with the final taking place this evening in the Azerbaijani capital, Baku. But rest assured, whatever drivel you find yourself subjecting yourself to for this year’s Eurovision, there was something much worse in the past! Prepare your ears for some torture, because here is a selection of the worst Eurovision songs of the last decade...
Kreisiraadio – 'Leto svet'
This song is confusing. Pretty girls in skimpy outfits dance what looks like a traditional folk dance, while men in garish and dated suits sing a song that translates into some nonsense about cake and summertime (English subtitles are on the Youtube video). The 2008 entrants for Estonia performed the song in Serbian, German and Finnish. Unsurprisingly, the rest of Europe didn’t get this humour, and the act ranked badly.
Josh Dubovie – 'That Sounds Good to Me'
Britain managed to churn out the crappiest pop song imaginable in 2010. Not only that, but the backing vocals were all over the place. It comes as no surprise that the song placed at the very bottom.
Verka Serduchka – 'Dancing Lasha Tumbai'
Sometimes love and hate is so similar that it’s difficult to tell which is which. Serduchka is a drag character of Ukrainian comedian and dance pop singer, Andriy Mykhailovych Danylko. This song came second in the 2007 contest, and why not? Silver painted drag queens, bizarre dance music which consisted of a lot of counting, a title that didn’t mean anything… at least it was a bit different. Truly awful, but strangely addictive and definitely entertaining.
Jemini – 'Cry Baby'
It’s no surprise that Jemini were awarded nil points for their painfully off-key performance in 2003. The British band claimed that their poor vocals were due to not being able to hear the backing track. Because of their horrendous performance the duo were dropped from their record label and their debut album was never released. Disappointed much? I thought not.
Alf Poier – 'Weil der Mensch Zählt'
Here’s another strange one from 2003. The singer (if you can call him that) just seems to be talking to music, surrounded by cardboard cut-outs of farm yard animal rock stars. What sounds like something that should be on a children’s programme is broken up with sudden bursts of rock riffs.
Krassimir Avramov – 'Illusion'
Bulgaria’s entry for 2009 is just horrible. It seems to be just a lot of high-pitched screaming intermingled with out of tune singing. Someone make it stop!
Dustin the Turkey – 'Irlande Douze Points'
In 2008, Ireland decided to really take the piss. And how else would you mock the Eurovision Song Contest, but to wheel out a puppet turkey and have it sing the song, while dancers dressed in carnival costumes provide backing vocals? Surely this was Ireland’s revenge for all the disappointing scored they had received since the turn of the millennium.
...And if none of that was quite enough for you, fear not- The Eurovision 2012 Final kicks off tonight!
This week has seen the semi finals of Eurovision 2012, with the final taking place this evening in the Azerbaijani capital, Baku. But rest assured, whatever drivel you find yourself subjecting yourself to for this year’s Eurovision, there was something much worse in the past! Prepare your ears for some torture, because here is a selection of the worst Eurovision songs of the last decade...
Kreisiraadio – 'Leto svet'
This song is confusing. Pretty girls in skimpy outfits dance what looks like a traditional folk dance, while men in garish and dated suits sing a song that translates into some nonsense about cake and summertime (English subtitles are on the Youtube video). The 2008 entrants for Estonia performed the song in Serbian, German and Finnish. Unsurprisingly, the rest of Europe didn’t get this humour, and the act ranked badly.
Watch// 'Leto svet'
Josh Dubovie – 'That Sounds Good to Me'
Britain managed to churn out the crappiest pop song imaginable in 2010. Not only that, but the backing vocals were all over the place. It comes as no surprise that the song placed at the very bottom.
Watch// 'That Sounds Good to Me'
Verka Serduchka – 'Dancing Lasha Tumbai'
Sometimes love and hate is so similar that it’s difficult to tell which is which. Serduchka is a drag character of Ukrainian comedian and dance pop singer, Andriy Mykhailovych Danylko. This song came second in the 2007 contest, and why not? Silver painted drag queens, bizarre dance music which consisted of a lot of counting, a title that didn’t mean anything… at least it was a bit different. Truly awful, but strangely addictive and definitely entertaining.
Watch// 'Dancing Lasha Tumbai'
Jemini – 'Cry Baby'
It’s no surprise that Jemini were awarded nil points for their painfully off-key performance in 2003. The British band claimed that their poor vocals were due to not being able to hear the backing track. Because of their horrendous performance the duo were dropped from their record label and their debut album was never released. Disappointed much? I thought not.
Watch// 'Cry Baby'
Alf Poier – 'Weil der Mensch Zählt'
Here’s another strange one from 2003. The singer (if you can call him that) just seems to be talking to music, surrounded by cardboard cut-outs of farm yard animal rock stars. What sounds like something that should be on a children’s programme is broken up with sudden bursts of rock riffs.
Watch// 'Weil der Mensch Zählt'
Krassimir Avramov – 'Illusion'
Bulgaria’s entry for 2009 is just horrible. It seems to be just a lot of high-pitched screaming intermingled with out of tune singing. Someone make it stop!
Watch// 'Illusion'
Dustin the Turkey – 'Irlande Douze Points'
In 2008, Ireland decided to really take the piss. And how else would you mock the Eurovision Song Contest, but to wheel out a puppet turkey and have it sing the song, while dancers dressed in carnival costumes provide backing vocals? Surely this was Ireland’s revenge for all the disappointing scored they had received since the turn of the millennium.
Watch// 'Irlande Douze Points'
...And if none of that was quite enough for you, fear not- The Eurovision 2012 Final kicks off tonight!
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