Every week The Rock Life
follows Los Angeles band Whitestarr as they attempt to make it in the music biz. But who’s following The Rock Life
? We are! Here’s our fourth report: Thirty Minutes of Rockin' Reality in Four Sentences: That wacky Whitestarr finally indulge in those long-awaited rocker antics … by having a water balloon fight … with the paparazzi. The shutterbugs have been swarming since lead singer Cisco Adler split with actress Mischa Barton sometime after last week's episode with no explanation whatsoever (though 50,000 gossip-blog entries from around February might clue you in on the details). Adler whinges, “I wish they would just leave me alone” with no hint of irony over the fact that he's constantly being followed by a camera crew, soundmen and VH1 producers. Episode bonus: drummer Orbi's non-plotline (recovering alcoholic tries to reconnect with women) finally connects with guitarist Rainbow's non-plotline (tyrannical afro dude tries to keep his girlfriend away from the band) with an awkward double date!
Most Rocking Moment: The band performs a shaky, sub-karaoke version of
“Every Rose Has Its Thorn” with Bret Michaels of VH1's Rock of Love — is this song destined to invade
every show on the network now!? Various girls make out in the front row, climb onstage, unbuckle Adler's belt and fellate his finger.
Least Rocking Moment: Literally laughing and pointing, the band take gassy bass-player Damon to get his colon irrigated. And it’s still less awkward than watching Rainbow try to explain to his girlfriend why she can't see them play.
Ass-Crack Count: Ten. Nine of them belonging Mr. Adler's friendly backside, the real star of this episode. Which is saying a lot since one of his bandmates had a tube up his starfish for the entire second act.
Photo: Edwards/Getty More... 
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