Rock Reality Show Recap: ?Man Band? Sureshot Shoot Surely Unfunny Video
 

Misson: Man Band tracks a reality shows efforts to restore four former boy-banders to their chart-topping glory. RS Rock Reality Show Recaps track our efforts to be sympathetic to their cause. Heres our fifth report:
Thirty Mantastic Minutes in Four Sentences: Following last weeks halftime embarrassment at the Orlando Magic game, Sureshot call a 9 AM band meeting to tell manager Katie McNeil they want to fire her. LFOs Rich Cronin says any downfall hes ever had has been because of management (he doesn’t specify whether or not he includes his leukemia on this list of grievances). “Miss Katie” tells the group that she has their best interests in mind, even though we all know she is a VH1 Celebreality spy, and the band keeps her on board, for now, pending how next episodes Mansion performance turns out. Next task for this episode is to shoot a video for that song they keep performing every week, yet dont ever tell us what the title is.
The Rockin Struggle: The boy-banders learn their production budget for their music video is roughly Amy Winehouse’s half-hourly drug rate, so with their $500 limit, they purchase a bunch of costumes, including a “Nero” costume (a long sheet and/or toga) for Color Me Badds Bryan Abrams, who by the way has lost eight pounds, despite the constant grimacing whenever hes asked to do twenty-five jumping jacks. The boys also employ indie-rocks iconic green screen to make a video about a wizard who tries to change Sureshot into something, and Abraham Lincoln is there, and they run around and laugh and pretend they’re rappers and get tomatoes thrown at them. If this sounds random, its because it is, as Sureshot is trying to strike gold in the YouTube era (The video, as of typing this, is still not on YouTube). To quote *NSYNCs Chris Kirkpatrick, “I only think this video will be funny to us.” Yup.
The Funniest Moment(s): Were sure we werent the only viewers who genuinely thought Kirkpatricks music-video idea of throwing baloney at random people wouldve been a hell of a lot better than the final product. Later, when Abrams wife Kim comes to visit, we learn she isnt fond of 98 Degrees Jeff Timmons because of something Timmons said to Abrams when they once were on the road together, during what had to be the worst tour in history.
The Rockin Finale: For the final ten minutes, the band holds a casting call for female backup dancers for their Mansion show. Fourteen Rock of Love outcasts gyrate for a few minutes apiece, much to the pleasure of the Man Band, who were previously only used to getting this kind of attention from fourteen-year-old girls. Cronin instantly proclaims that the casting call was the second best day of his life, coming in just behind the greatest day of his life, the Sureshot video shoot, and usurping the previous second best day of his life, the birth of his child sometime in the future. Next week, tensions bubble as Kirkpatrick and Miss Katie argue, and the Mansion show seemingly goes off with a few hitches.
Photo: Starwiaz/Getty


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