This morning Seattle band
Schoolyard Heroes who have been at the center of some recent controversy posted
a personal statement responding to the
recent claims against them.
Message from Schoolyard Heroes It's true. Evil pumps through the veins of Schoolyard Heroes. As it turns out, this "evil" is not satanic vitriol coursing through our systems, but rather a high-calorie and high-cholesterol lunch from Burger King that is gurgling and spewing evil from our tour-hardened stomachs. Yes, my friends, the Burger King Triple Stacker is pure evil and it is currently fueling my fingers and brain as I type this sentence. Muahahahahah!!!!
Word on the street is that the "tragedy" known as Schoolyard Heroes is being followed by a rogue faction of 13 year-old runaways who we are trying to "corrupt" and "drive them to murder." I can say with 100% certainty that nothing could be further from the truth. The death cult that is currently following us around actually has members of ALL AGES ranging from 7 to 45. There is no age discrimination here!
Mom and Dad: you need not worry. While many of our songs address the morose and macabre, we are not here to make your kids kill you or murder one another. You see, in our world, it is Halloween all the time. At our shows, you will not be judged, you will not be criticized for your beliefs, and you will not be indoctrinated into a world of evil. You will, however be led by us into a world of chaotic excitement, blistering rock and roll, and fun.
If you wanna take our cd's and shirts from the hands of your children due to our lyrical content, that is your prerogative as a parent. While you are at it, make sure that your kids do not read Dante's Inferno or Shakespeare's Macbeth in their English classes (I hear they talk about hell and witches! Oooooo!!!!). Make sure that your kids do not learn about Renaissance painters like Hieronymus Bosch whose detailed depictions of hell and evil might inspire violence. Most of all, make sure your children do not watch the 6:00 news and hear about violent crime, famine, war, and pestilence. Oh. And "Young Frankenstein the Musical?" Mel Brooks must be the devil incarnate.
If you wanna know why your kids are listening to music like Schoolyard Heroes, maybe you should TALK to them about it. Come to a show with them. Give our record a couple spins. Understand your kids, what they are into, and why they are into it.
Don't belittle your children or underestimate their intelligence and ability to make choices for themselves. They are a lot smarter than you think.
Sincerely,
The Devil…er, I mean Jonah.
More... 
| 
The Schoolyard Heroes - Abominations
| Reviews 
Schoolyard Heroes Follow-Up
