Kid Rock - Roll On [Single]

Atlantic

What the HELL is this? Is this some kind of joke Mr Rock? Did you think it would be funny to record the sound of your last visit to the toilet? Do you think you can try your hand at piss-poor country ballads now that you have decided nobody likes turgid Limp Bizkit B-sides anymore? I’ve news for you kiddie, only the idiots who kept your dreadful career going ever did.

I picked this review up after Johnny, the original reviewer, pulled his own ears off and ate them [rather than spend your cash on this or anything else by Kid Rock, please go to kidrockowesmeearsdotcom and donate to the fundraiser for a new set of lugs]. So, I sat listening to this with my hands tied firmly away from my ears, and cried. Poor Johnny never deserved this, none of us do. Why is this world so cruel?

I was going to post some lyrics and then proceed to pull them apart as savagely as Johnny’s ears, but to be perfectly honest there’s just too much to work with – I’d be here all day. It’s ironic though that he should keep singing about “havin’ a good time” when I couldn’t be having a worse one [it’s actually a curse to still have my ears at this point – Johnny, you lucky bastard!]

“Now I'm starin' at thirty-six” sings Mr Rock. Well that proves you are no kid, and now more than ever you most certainly do not rock. Perhaps he may want to consider a name change?