Crystal Stilts - Departure [Single]
 

What a bunch of miserable fuckers. Crystal Stilts are a stripped down garage band that has ridiculously over-cavernous production. Their overall sound is reminiscent of early Joy Division and Jesus and Mary Chain, the only difference being that early Joy Division and Jesus and Mary Chain was actually very good! Happy this is not. Far from it. Sad and depressing this is. As I listen to 'Departure' I sit in wonderment at how a song can go from sounding so promising to awful in just 5 seconds? Let me explain further.

When I slipped on 'Departure' and heard the bass playing style and tone, I was excited about what was about to come. The second the guitar came in [precisely 5 seconds in] I enthused to myself at how much better the guitar tone would have sounded had they turned down [or completely removed] the reverb on it. By the time the vocals enter I can hear nothng other than a cavernous, reverberated mess. It felt like 'Departures' was recorded by placing a tape recorder at one end of the Taj Mahal whilst the band performed at the far side. Now I appreciate that Crystal Stilts are a garage band. I also appreciate that half the beauty of garage music is the recording itself kind of sounds shit, as if it was in fact recorded cheaply in that persons garage. Crystal Stilts tick all the right boxes as far as that goes EXCEPT, during recording they blatantly discovered a reverb and echo effects unit for the first time and as such, everything in 'Departures' except for the rhythm section (drums and bass) is smothered in a gargantuan cavernous reverb that, to be honest, just sounds shit. Surely the overuse of this one effect negates the whole garage rock mentality with work being put into making it sound that way?

There is one of two things happening here. Crystal Stilts are either trying to be a Joy Division/Jesus and Mary Chain rip off OR singer Brad Hargett is actually a very poor vocalist which is why Crystal Stilts felt the need to dilute the vocals you can hear with too much of one effect. With music production, if you cloud everything with too much of the same effect then it all just becomes one big sonical blur. 'Departures' demonstrates this fact to a tee.

Unfortunately, the review copy of 'Departures' I was sent was corrupted and I only actually got to listen to the first of the two tracks on the single (Departures). B-side Prismatic Room was not present on the disc. This left me in a quandry as to whether all of the Crystal Stilts songs were as depressing, dull, boring, and as badly over produced as this one? I guess I will never find out though as I will certainely not be ever seeking these guys out on Myspace or anywhere else for that matter.

If terrible garage music is your thing then check out Crystal Stilts as they might just be up your street. If you don't feel like killing yourself today then you might want to avoid Crystal Stilts like the plague.