This album sounds like they’ve taken an upbeat album and just slowed most of it down. The tempo goes from slow and boring to dull and boring and back again. It sounds as though Howling Bells forced Goldfrapp to do an indie rock album.

The female singer seems to have been told to make her voice as whiny as possible, shrieking along with some of the most tedious guitar I’ve heard for a while. There’s no variety in any of it. They all seem to be playing and singing the exact same notes throughout, meaning no harmonising, no depth, and no interest from me.

The first song that is actually worth listening to the end of, comes 8 songs in, with ‘Golden Web’ which actually has some depth, and although there is still little change in the pace or tone of the song, this song actually seems to have something that works. It’s a shame that they put the song so far along the album or I wouldn’t have already have lost all patience with them. It’s like someone putting an old mattress down to try and cushion the impact of a jumbo jet crashing into the ground.

From here on, it’s just more wailing and shrieking and I long for either the end of the album, or the end of the world, whichever comes first.

Oh wait…what’s this? It’s the ‘Off’ button. Thank god for that!

Listen to this album: but make sure there are no sharp objects that you might stab into your ears.