It would be lazy of me to write off Crafty Simians debut release as charmless 'lad rock', so I'll dig a little deeper. Indeed, the song is so shallow it makes The Fratellis 'Chelsea Dagger' sound like 'The Carmina Burana' but that is not necessarily a bad thing. If a song has a decent hook, engaging lyrics and a cracking chorus then why does it also need to be a conceptual 20 minute odyssey concerning the rise and fall of ancient Japanese aristocracy?

I'd love to say The Losing Game displays all three but sadly there's just nothing here. The riff that open the song should be instantly recognisable, and the words should really bite but it all comes across as cut and paste indie rock. I seriously wouldn't be surprised if this whole track was constructed using preset loops in garageband. There is no dynamic at-all to the song, the lyrics are stock, the singer sounds uninterested in his own words (and who could blame him) and the chorus is practically non-existent. Matters are not helped in the slightest by the asinine guitar line which is repeated (yes I DID actually count because my time IS really that worthless) 20 times in just under 3 and a half minutes, I SHIT YOU NOT! It has to be one of the worse structural ideas in musical history to include it in EVERY SINGLE part of the song save for the chorus. On a positive note the lead guitarist appears to have some real talent and really shines in the bridge but it's too little too late and the messy production makes it almost impossible to hear either the vocals or drums over the scratchy, thoroughly unpleasant rhythm guitar.

I don't know how to say this without it coming across as a personal attack but to these ears Crafty Simians simply come across as chancers, a group of mates having a laugh. There is nothing wrong with that but whoever told these guys they needed to release a record is probably in this business for all the wrong reasons.

Not for me lads.