Dear heavens, I'm surprised that Utada has a record company behind her. Her debut album is in fact released on Island Def Jam which should be some sort of guarantee, but this IS NOT the case.

Utada comes complete with cheap devices of pseudo-classical intros seguing into cheaper synthesizers and this is not just on one track. At one point my imagination was genuinely put in mind of this old pair of chaps who used to play keyboard and brush drums at the local working men's club due to the over synthetic keyboard and encoded drum effects. I can hear so many, [way too many] snatches of other people's recycled ideas thrown into the mix on "This Is The One". The pity of it all is that under there somewhere is a very decent voice in a diva sort of way.

I'm writing this review while I listen and literally it's making me laugh out loud. Please please stop trying so hard to throw in every single hook and device known to man to make it a hit. They coming so thick and fast that I thought the CD player had jumped at one point. Hang on, here comes a bit of recycled En Vogue. It's like the English weather. Don't like it? Give it a moment and something else will be along.

"You can be captain and I will be your commander". Playtime ahoy then! I feel awful writing this and I'm not being snobby, honest. I love lots of pop and R&B, just not this, and I think it's a waste. Will the record company take the promo back? Perhaps someone else would like it, although I do doubt that. "Girls you know we have it better than the boys" sung low in a breathy porno whisper, with a hysterical warble overlaid- what tosh.

Maybe it's a grower and will get better with another few listens. It's not going to get the chance here I'm afraid. The best thing about it is some male voiced backing singing and if you knew how skewed my preferences are towards female singers you would laugh that I found this the best bit.

Oh jeez! I just wiki'd her and apparently she is Japan's biggest ever selling female artist. Obviously I know nothing. There must be lots of kids who really love watery R&B then and this is a shining example of how good music sometimes has nothing to do with album sales and the amazement that something as bad as this can actually sell so well.