It'd been a lovely night. We'd met at eight in Covent Garden, she looked gorgeous in a mid-calf beige dress and matching shoes. Sensual, but classy I thought to myself, suddenly worrying that my accent would betray those early, awkward teenage years in the provinces. We ate sparsely, but well. She looked just like I remembered her, forehead slightly too high, but those gorgeous dimples every time she laughed, which was a lot.

Afterward we took a taxi to her local bar and she insisted on ordering for me whilst I paid a call: when I returned there was a bottle of brown ale sat on the table in my place! We laughed out loud, and I began to feel that she might be the one.

The evening took a turn for the magical when, with a coy look on her face, she suggested that we get that espresso and nite-cap at her flat. I was thrilled. After many long years in the capital on the singles "Scene" it seemed like I'd finally met someone who stimulated me in every way. As we sat down on her Habitat sofa she moved over towards the CD player and put something on, before heading off to the kitchen. The music began to fill my ears and I felt that old, familiar feeling once more.

As she sat down next to me and handed over a glass of brandy, I asked her who was responsible for the soundtrack. "Oh, it's a new band my brother likes called Ghostlight", She replied, smiling just a little, "They're a four piece from Cambridge who first got noticed by Sparklehorse. I really like them. It's just really nice and relaxing. I usually do my pilates to this". She paused, her face coming in close to my face, "Why do you ask?"

"Because" I said, "This is a pile of fucking Snow Patrol fucking MOR bollocks, boring, poncy, soul-less, pointless, spineless fucking shit".

I stood up and made for the door "I'm going to fucking complain to Match.com and get me fucking money back. You fucking timewaster." I didn't even wait for the tears to start. On the way home I pissed over the bonnet of her car. It started to rain, and I put Big Black on my ipod again. Soon, I was smiling.