The Veronicas - 4 Ever [Single]

Warner Records

September 10, 2009, 02:13 PM

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Having never encountered Australian pop nuggets 'The Veronicas' before this afternoon (my younger brother tells me I'm pretty out of the loop on this one) I honestly had no idea what to expect.
Roughly 20 seconds into the song I was struck by an inestimably grim thought though.... I would have to sit through 5 more versions of this by the end of the day..... and find something constructive to say about all of them. Glossy pop is something I've always had a love-hate relationship with. I love Abba to death and think in some ways the factory farmed Xenomania hit machine is no worse an idea than Motown (in principle at least). But sometimes it can get a little much, and you can try and justify it as "well written songs, written with a specific demographic in mind" all you like but the truth is it's not song-writing, it's song surgery, unnecessary and unpleasant surgery.

This song is so vapid and just.....well.....bullshit. It makes Katie Perry sound like Radiohead. If it had a chorus which was particularly memorable or well written I could excuse it, but (other than the fact it almost completely rips off Bon Jovi's 'It's My Life' [a song I wasn't particularly keen on in the first place]) there is nothing even remotely engaging about the melody or the lyrics. Speaking of lyrics, what exactly is trying to be said here? I'm getting all kind of mixed signals and the fact that words such as "Let me take you on the ride of your life, that's what I said, alright?" came from the pen of a middle-aged, middle-class Swedish man (hit machine Max Martin) strikes me as not only cynical but faintly disturbing. I can only mark the success of this 'band' down to wish fulfilment- blokes want to sleep with them and girls want to be them. But lets be honest, unless your either a Disney endorsed American pop-star, engineered for success from birth or a wax sculpted male model your never even going to get close.

OK so the original song sucks now onto the remixes. Christ what did I do to deserve this? Oh god. 26 minutes. I'm going to have to sit through this song for 26 goddamn minutes. Well their all the same basically. The last tracks mixes things up a bit I guess but this is just wrong, making a grown man sit through this. Granted both Jason Nevins and Cicada try their best to construct something beefy and dance-floor worthy out of the glossy mess but it's a lost cause, you can't polish a turd gentlemen. The Jakwob mix in particular sounds like a clowns bowels imploding.

I don't know what else to say. I think I'm going to have to lie down for a few minutes maybe stick some Enya on or something......

AVOID THIS SHIT LOAD OF FUCK LIKE THE PLAGUE

Tracklisting:-
1. 4 ever
2. 4 ever
3. 4 ever
4. 4 ever
5. 4 ever
6. 4 ever

Yep i shit you not, at least the title is apt!

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