The only thing larger than Jean Beauvior’s ego is his hair. Though he did cut it recently, that blonde Mohawk he first started rocking in his days with the Plasmatics will haunt him forever. What a prick, and what a waste of time I’ve found myself wrapped up in with the new Crown Of Thorns album. Take two parts 1980’s action flick soundtrack, two parts top 40 hair metal circa 92, and a generous dash of old man smell and you have got "Faith," the new album from Crown of Thorns.

Its crap folks.
Simply crap.


Like a glorious flying shit hawk, soaring majestically through the valley of lame, crap. I first thought I’d got a reissue of a Mr. Big album when I first played "Faith." But wait. No it’s not a Mr. Big reissue at all, it is the new album by Crown of Thorns.

Remember when KISS took off the make-up for a while and all decided to make solo records? I do. They were slightly better. This arena rock style is so dead it’s being reincarnated by its unwavering disciples. I can see it now. Waves of geriatric rockers, squeezing back into their spandex and rolling their IV drips on stage for one last (ha) reunion tour and don’t think I’m bashing Jean Beauviors ego for nothing. There has actually been a Crown of Thorns single that was deemed necessary by the higher powers to be released as "Jean Beauvior and Crown Of Thorns!" "Faith" harks back to the days of cocaine abuse, women as objects and uninspired guitar rock. You know the ones I'm talking about, the days that I thought we had all killed off with the advent of honesty and ingenuity in rock music.

I could go on longer, but I’ll wrap this up. Ta’ Hell with Crown of Thorns new release "Faith." It's pure shit.