Is there any such thing as “the perfect gig”? Because I don’t think my live music experience is going to get any better than tonight. It’s like real love after a hundred teenage crushes which you thought every time were the real thing. But let’s start from the beginning.

We’re in Wembley Arena, a 12,500 capacity venue, for one of only two ZZ Top UK dates, after some triumphant festival appearances. Supporting the Texan legends tonight is rock comedy sensation Steel Panther, which are probably overwhelmed with a feeling of extreme achievement and shitting their tight lycra pants at the same time. From a resident Sunset Strip club show to the lustre of their recent Universal career, can they handle Wembley? And how are mature ZZ Top fans going to welcome them?

The audience is a colourful crowd of all sorts of people: groups of drunken friends, parents with kids, couples, aged rockers with fake beards (ZZ Top fans) and youngsters in wigs (Steel Panther fans). You know it’s going to be a hell of a party. And, bless them, Steel Panther are good at that.



Introducing themselves with hit ‘Death to all but metal,’ pushing on the sleazy side with ‘Asian Hooker’ and taking the mick on 80s hair metal ballads with ‘Community Property,’ Steel Panther break the ice earning a brilliant reception and raised horns in approval, even from those who had never heard of them before. Funny yet professional as usual, the band takes ownership of Wembley’s vast stage, no hesitation, no apparent fear; they entertain ZZ Top fans and their own in a tight half hour of well played unpretentious rock’n’roll, tongue in cheek music comedy and explosive energy. They do exactly what any support band is meant to do, providing the perfect appetizer and leaving us licking our lips looking forward to the main act of course. Well done. And once their act is over, they join us watching ZZ Top from the audience. More brownie points for being still those down to Earth guys I remembered from the early days.

Half an hour to hit the bar and have a look around and the lights go down again: on the familiar notes of ‘Got me under pressure,’ Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill and Frank Beard finally appear on stage. One thing that always puts me off big gigs like this is the inevitable lack of connection, a feeling of distance between the band and its fans, that “we’re up here, you’re down there” sensation. The show is always outstanding, the lights and sound impeccable, the choreographies take your breath away, but you don’t normally get that amazing feeling where it’s just you, your idol and a few thousand friends you just never met before. I always thought it was the price to pay for a perfect show. Tonight is the night ZZ Top prove me wrong!



From the moment they set foot on stage, the bearded two take every single one of us on with them, dancing the rock’n’roll and singing the blues, from the higher seats to the front row standings. Like two wizards with an infallible magic formula, Gibbons and Hill hit us with early gems like ‘Nationwide,’ ‘Jesus just left Chicago,’ ‘Party on the Patio’ and ‘Cheap Sunglasses,’ spicing it up with between-songs jokes and teases, treating us to a killer cover of ‘Foxy Lady,’ and they get us higher than ever with unforgettable classics from “Elevator.” They’ve got us under their spell, and there’s no escape at least for as long as the music keeps going.

Let me just say, NO ONE does blues like Billy Gibbons! The only way this could get any better is if we were all in a Texas arena with a bottomless Margarita, barefoot, tanned, sticky and covered in desert dust. But they’re actually such nice people that, for all of us who can’t afford Texas, they graced our cold rainy island with their presence, and helped with the visuals projecting videos in the background that take you right there, near the Mexican borderline, surrounded by cactus and sombreros.



ZZ Top’s spell is one of those which gets stronger and stronger, and makes you fly higher at every song, and jump and smile like a (wo)man possessed. When ‘Sharp dressed man’ follows ‘Gimme all your lovin’ you don’t think you can get any higher. That is until Gibbons and Hill disappear briefly to come back with THOSE furry white guitars, and you know what’s coming now, don’t you? Ooooohhhhhh YES!!! It’s ‘Legs,’ and one day I will be able to tell my grandsons I’ve heard it, seen it and danced to it live, watching the bearded two setting Wembley on fire!

I think we all need to catch up with our breath here... ZZ Top take a short break, and there’s obviously an encore (and I wish it would last ‘til morning). ‘Tube Snake Boogie,’ a country rock blues classic ‘La Grange’ and old favourite ‘Tush’ are the chosen tracks to say goodbye to a grateful happy audience. Still dizzy and smiling, struggling to get off the bearded spell, I kind of sleepwalk to the merchandise stand and make my way out proudly displaying my new ZZ Top shirt.

If you were not there, I’m deeply sorry for you. And just to rub it in with a cruel grin, here’s the complete set list:

1) Got me under pressure
2) Waitin’ for the bus
3) Jesus just left Chicago
4) Pincushion
5) I’m bad, I’m nationwide
6) Future Blues
7) Cheap Sunglasses
8) Mexican Blackbird
9) I need you tonight
10) Foxy Lady
11) Brown Sugar
12) Party on the patio
13) Just got paid
14) Gimme all your lovin’
15) Sharp dressed man
16) Legs
17) Tube Snake Boogie
18) La Grange
19) Tush

Goodnight Wembley, Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill, Frank Beard and my circa 12,000 friends, and thank you!