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Mission Man - 31 Hours To What? [Album]

Mission Man - 31 Hours To What? [Album]

Self Released

Review   4357 Views
Last Edited by: Jack Stovin May 13th, 2010.

Oh dear. What happens when you don't choose the CD's you review but just go through a random pile on your desk? The inevitable, you come across something SO bad it leaves you wonder a) what the music industry is coming to and b) how not one of Mission Man's friends or relatives had the balls to actually say to him honestly that what he was doing was awful and that he should not inflict this musical pain on people. If only, then this CD would not be sitting in my player slowly but surely raping my eardrums. Sound harsh? I'm afraid not my friend.

Opening track 'A Little About Me' is a rap about Mission Man's life which goes on about his life, how he has been ridiculed, loved his mum who he deems his hero etc. The lyrical content is bad yes. But his rapping is awful! Ever heard the 80's Liverpool football team song called 'Anfield Rap'? No? Youtube it now and have a listen to that and how bad it is "My name is John Barn-es, when I do my playing the crowd go bananas" times that by 1000 and that is how bad Mission Man wishes he was. Add 'Do The Bartman' to that mix with a sprinkle of both MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice and you are just starting to grasp the severity of awfulness that is Mission Man.

Second track 'Lift Me Up' does anything but, in fact I needed a whole can of Rockstar Energy drink with Guava just to get through it. The beat is awful, as is the rapping and the singing parts are even worse again. This track features a guitar though but it turns out though that Mission Man is as bad on guitar as he is at everything else with a never ending guitar jam going underneath the track. So I painfully sit through this hoping the next song will be the diamond in the rough.
Lyrically 'Lift Me Up' is horrific with lines like, "that's why I spent 16 years writing lyrics to help me know who I am / so I don't grow on quicksand". Can you even grow on quicksand? Surely you would sink? Or is that his point? 'Lift Me Up' contains possibly the worst guitar solo I have ever heard in my life. I mean, if I were to go into a school and give a four year old child a guitar that he had never played before, plugged it into an amp and pressed record it would be better than this. Again you must be thinking I am being harsh? No I am being fair.

'What Hip Hop Means To Me' is probably the worst beat yet with some awful bass line and lyrics like "that's when I knew I had to use my rap to get back on track" and "Every time I feel blasted by life and molested by strife / I go home and have sex with my wife / I make love with my expression and bring out the tension that has mounted and surrounded the day". OMG I hear you all cry, did you just make that up Chris? No I did not, spat straight out of the mouth of Mission Man.

What is the worst thing about "31 Hours Til What" is that this isn't a joke, far from it and if it is then it is VERY convincing. Mission Man is a real guy doing what he loves it just so happens that he is awful at it. The only help and advice I can give Mission Man is something his wife or anyone close to him should have told him years ago. Hang in the making music towel and just enjoy listening to Hip-Hop and leave the music making to the pro's. Or, keep making music if you enjoy it but please in the future keep your music to yourself because I have honestly found a new form of torture in "31 Hours Till What?" that I can sell to some dictatorship as a means of getting a confession out of someone.

I gave up on his album on track six just after the final lines about the fact that Mission Man used to be an ugly kid with a weird smile but how he has now become just an average guy. As I have a pile of CD's to get through here I decided that enough was enough and I have already lost 20 or so minutes of my life on what I would consider to be the worst album I have ever heard.

Please, please, please don't make a Sophomore album Mission Man and sorry if this sounded harsh but someone needed to say it truthfully to you. Respect for the time, effort and love you have put into this but the time is nigh to hang in the towel I would say.

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